Gymservations

Since graduating (and losing my “free” gym access), I’ve been trying to find a workout routine that I will actually stick with and can reasonably afford. Long gone are the days where I had 3-5 hour breaks in the middle of the day and workout buddies just across the hall. I’m officially an adult working 9-5. Guys, my mom doesn’t even cook for me anymore.

For the last six months or so I’ve had a gym membership, and while I liked the place well enough, my attendance began to wane and I couldn’t bear to part with my money once a month. While I miss the extra endorphins and ability to fit comfortably into my skinny jeans, I miss something else more: people watching.

[ I should note right now that I respect every gym goer (and non-goer). I think striving for a healthy lifestyle is a beautiful thing. And whether you’re struggling to hit that first mile on the elliptical or run ten on the treadmill with ease, as long as what you are doing is healthy for you and your body, more power to you! ]

In memory of my stint at this unnamed gym, I’ve compiled a list of my favorite gymservations:

Random guy from your high school

No matter how far you are from your hometown or how much you avoid eye contact, you somehow came face-to-face from that guy you used to know back in 9th grade math class. Now he is lifting weights and you’re wiping sweat off your brow. You may or may not Facebook stalk him later…possibly finding out that he has a wife and is making his way through grad school.

Macho guy

This guy is more than likely wearing a ripped up tank, showing off his glistening bod while he bench presses more than you, your friend and your friend’s brother could bench combined. We can only hope he wipes down the equipment after he’s done.

The non-couple

Uninterested girl, minding her own business on the treadmill, meets drooling guy who steps onto the machine next to her. Usually drooling guy has met uninterested girl a few times before, but you can tell by his continued banter and her brief “Mmmhmm” answers that she’s not interested in taking it any further.

Amazingly strong older guy with stick arms

This guy puts us all to shame. With his gray hair and aging bod, he still manages to lift weights alongside guys less than half his age.

The dude with offensive bumper stickers

This gym-worker may smile while checking you in, but when you see him leave after his shift later in the week your jaw drops a little and you’re not quite sure whether to laugh hysterically or key his truck. “Jack it up cuz Fat girls can’t jump” isn’t an appropriate bumper sticker for anyone, much less a trainer. Way to build people’s self-esteem, dude.

 

My new apartment complex has a workout facility (that almost makes the cut) and I managed to snag a CorePower Yoga Groupon. Who knows, maybe January will find me with better insurance that helps cover gym memberships? ….for now, time to find my inner yogi…

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